*jeff dunham voice* silence! i kill you! *entire crowd of 12-15 year olds and rednecks go wild. he has made comedy history. nothing on earth will ever be as funny for this audience. they go home somber, unable to take enjoyment in anything else. the world then collapses in on itself, creating a vortex and sucking the entire world into it, ending all life, everywhere, for no joke will ever be as funny*
(via hunterwithatardis)
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
(via still-it-rains)
Yes ma’am.
